Steve has a condo in Canada. I want to rent Steve’s condo in Canada. I need to pay Steve.

Here’s what that entails.

1.) Realize that it’s Friday and I have to get a certified check today before meeting Steve tomorrow.
2.) There are no branches of my bank, BB&T, on the west coast.
3.) Drive around Bellevue, Washington, looking for a bank. Spot a Wells Fargo.
4.) Stand in line.
5.) Explain to teller that I’m not an account holder but I need to buy a cashier’s check. Teller nods and begins typing. Explain that it must be in Canadian. Teller frowns.
6.) Wait for supervisor.
7.) Supervisor says I need to open an account with Wells Fargo to get a cashier’s check in foreign currency.
8.) Go to the supervisor’s office and begin opening an account.
9.) “Can I fund this with a credit or debit card?” “No.”
10.) “Personal check?” “No.”
11.) “Wire transfer from my current bank?” “Sure.”
12.) Look up number and call BB&T to start a wire transfer. Oops, wrong branch. I wanted the one by Eckerd’s, not downtown.
13.) Hang up and dial other branch.
14.) “Hi BB&T, I need to make a wire transfer to my Wells Fargo account.”
15.) Wait for supervisor.
16.) “Hi supervisor at BB&T, I need to make a wire transfer to my Wells Fargo account.” “No problem sir, you’ll need to come in person and sign the slip.”
17.) “I’m in Seattle.”
18.) Can you hear a frown? I heard her frown.
19.) “I do recognize your voice Mr. Sanders. I can probably do it just this once, if you’ll sign the form I fax you and mail it back to me right away. First I’ll need you to confirm the following information…”
20.) Confirm information.
21.) Finish opening Wells Fargo account. Savings, checking, deposits, checks, blah, blah, blah.
22.) Call BB&T supervisor. Tell her to initiate wire transfer. This takes several hours.
23.) Drive around Bellevue looking for a hotel because I drove 300 miles that morning and have been trying to get a check all afternoon.
24.) Find hotel. Uh-oh, there are double sets of automatic doors and marble tile and the clerk is wearing a black suit. Bet this is expensive. Don’t care.
25.) Check into hotel. Take nap.
26.) Drive back into Bellevue. Was the Wells Fargo on 106 & 10th or 110th & 6th? I wrote it down but left the paper in the hotel room.
27.) Locate Wells Fargo. Go inside. Wait for supervisor.
28.) Sign the fax from BB&T and ask Wells Fargo to mail it.
29.) Pick up certified check. $1460 monthly rent + $500 security deposit = $1960 Canadian dollars.
30.) Buy two cokes and $20 worth of sushi and go back to hotel room to watch Mr. Deeds. Fall asleep.